The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize