i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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