She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
