I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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