spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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