When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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