The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
