hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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