You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
