capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
