OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
