At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
