this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
