We won't sleep together?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
