Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
