wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't think brook has ever known best
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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