Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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