I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
