He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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