I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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