I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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