3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
