one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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