I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
