There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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