38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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