remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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