I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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