I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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