I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
