My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
