I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She bit a glass in half.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
