i jhust puked up my retainher.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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