She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
