looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
