Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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