just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
