Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize