i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
