i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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