I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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