Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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