Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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