I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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