needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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