if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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