He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
