it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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