kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
