Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
