So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
