I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip