I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.