thus making me awesome and them whores
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.