Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.