How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize