Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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