im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
