I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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