): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
