every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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