What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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