I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize