And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
